Stop Second-Guessing: How to Be Confident in Your Choices

Confidence is one of those words that gets thrown around a lot. We talk about being confident in who we are - owning our look, our personality, our quirks. But let’s be honest…confidence isn’t only about how you show up, it’s also about the choices you make. And that part? It’s just as important. 

Because here’s the truth: you can look confident on the outside and still second-guess yourself on the inside. You can be “put together” but spiral for hours over whether you made the right call. And if that sounds like you, don’t worry - it’s been me too. 

The two kinds of confidence

There’s confidence in being and confidence in deciding.

• Confidence in who you are is about owning yourself fully. It’s the energy that says: “This is me. I know my worth. I’m not performing - I’m existing as myself.”

• Confidence in your decisions is about trusting yourself to make a choice and then standing behind it. No 10-hour debates, no texting five friends for permission, no “what if I mess this up?” loop running in your head. 

Here’s the kicker: if you only have the first one, you’ll still feel shaky. You’ll know you’re amazing but still second-guess the direction you’re taking. And if you only have the second one, you might feel decisive but lack that grounded self-love. True confidence is the balance of both. 

Why decision confidence is so hard 

We live in a world of options overload. (Should I start this business? Move cities? Text him back? Order the pasta or the salad?) It’s easy to feel like every choice you make is going to change your whole life. 

But here’s something I remind myself of all the time: most decisions aren’t permanent. They’re just steps. And every step teaches you something - even if it’s not the outcome you imagined. 

How to build confidence in your decisions 

Here are a few things that help me when I feel myself second-guessing: 

1. Check in with your values. If it aligns with what you care about, it’s probably the right move. 

2. Don’t crowdsource your life. Advice is good, but your gut is better. Too many voices = too much noise. 

3. Give yourself permission to pivot. A “wrong” decision is just a detour that gets you closer to clarity. 

4. Remember: no decision is still a decision. And usually, the stressful one. 

The fun part

Confidence in decision-making is like building a muscle. The more you practice choosing, the stronger it gets. And yes, you’re going to mess up sometimes (hi, same). But messing up with confidence is still better than staying stuck in doubt. 

So the next time you’re overthinking, tell yourself this: I trust myself enough to choose, and if I need to, I trust myself enough to choose again. That’s the kind of confidence that changes everything.